Finding the motivation to do anything is tough whether i’ts going to the gym, or even just getting out of bed some days, finding the motivation to do anything can be nearly impossible. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time, so not only is going to the gym hard because of not having the motivation to go, but the whole anxiety part factors in huge. You could do the same thing over and over again every year the same time each day same exact thing but then all of a sudden you get that little voice in your head, the anxiety creeps in and what you love to do can become the hardest thing in your life at the moment. Anxiety sucks, and unfortunately if you don’t have it you could never know how something as simple as getting a carton of milk is or ordering food at a restaurant. Even writing this I’m getting anxiety about what people will think of it.
Depression is a killer literally it can cause people to die because of what it does to you physically or mentally, taking your own life because you think there is no other way to stop hurting, stop feeling miserable all the time when you don’t even really know why. You could be the happiest person on the outside but be tortured inside. Back in November I was going through a huge depression, it affected everything, my work was lacking I became unreliable, I didn’t want to do anything or see anyone to the point my friends here at Mix got worried and had the cops show up at my place to take me to the hospital, where I spent the night in the psych ward. I felt so alone like I couldn’t talk to anyone or thought who would even care if I was gone, no one really likes me anyway. When you get to the point where all you can think about is wanting to die so the pain can stop its terrifying. When people at work started messaging me and asking if I was ok, I started to realize I wasn’t alone, people do care and want to help me. If you have been in that place or are there now know there’s always people there to help you no matter what.
I started going to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy at the hospital and started to see a psychiatrist since my stay at the hospital and it has really helped. Learning how to ope with anxiety, having someone to talk to and learning skills to take control of your life and not let the demons have control is huge. I still struggle with anxiety and depression everyday and will for a long time but I will get better and so can you! Just have to find the motivation to get healthy physically now!