According to a poll, REM’s “Everybody Hurts” is the most depressing song of all time. No question it’s depressing and it starts off very slow and sad. But of all-time? I don’t know…at the end the song hits a bit of a crescendo and Michael Stipe tells you, despite that you might be hurt, to “hold on”. In a lot of ways, it’s re-affirming. It’s a song that takes on a ride, I don’t know if I’d say it’s wholly depressing and certainly not the most depressing video ever. But maybe the subjects in the study, which you can read in its entirety here, weren’t able to see the video. Maybe that’s why I feel the way I do about the song.

MASHUP VIDEO – Adele vs. Flo Rida – Good Feelin’ In The Deep (NilsOfficial) from NilsOfficial on Vimeo.

A couple weeks ago I was lauding the underrated multi-use substance of baking soda, which seemingly does so many useful things. It turns out vodka isn’t just for splashing into your caesar or cranberry juice. Here are some other uses for vodka. I don’t know if I’d use Grey Goose or some of the other high priced stuff for these tasks, but if you’re ever in a pinch, I’m sure it’ll work. These according to LimeLife.com

• Window cleaner — no chemical cleaner here, just spray your windows with diluted vodka and wipe with a lint-free cloth for a streak-free shine.
• Chrome cleaner — again, no streaks or hard water spots here, just soak a cloth in vodka and wipe on chrome fixtures.
• Laundry deodorizer — yes, just a spritz of vodka (not diluted) will remove odors, then hang laundry to dry.
• Rust remover — soak the rusty screws in vodka for a few hours, wipe clean.
• Flower preserver — a few drops of vodka, plus a teaspoon of sugar will keep flowers from wilting.
• Stain remover — remove upholstery stains by dipping a cloth in vodka and rubbing it on fabric.
• Weed killer — mix 1 ounce of vodka, 2 cups of water and a few drops of liquid dish soap in a spray bottle. Spritz on weeds.
• Mold and mildew cleaner — spray tile and caulk with vodka, allow it to sit for 30 minutes, then scrub with a toothbrush. Rinse.
• Muscle soother — mix equal parts vodka and water in a ziplock bag and freeze.
• Odor fighter — spray diluted vodka in smelly shoes.

According to a recent poll, approximately 66% of parents are unable to answer science-related questions asked by their children. Here are some common questions that stump the parents and the answers, so you’re equipped to answer them if your own children ask you….

THE MOST DREADED QUESTIONS

1. Why is the moon sometimes out in the day?
2. Why is the Sky Blue?
3. Will we ever discover aliens?
4. How much does the earth weigh?
5. How do airplanes stay in the air?
6. Why is water wet?
7. How do I do long division?
8. Where to birds / bees go in winter?
9. What makes a rainbow?
10. Why are there different times on earth?

. . . AND THE ANSWERS

1. The moon can be lit up by the sun, depending on where it is in the sky. If it reflects the sun’s rays, we can see it, even during the day. It all depends on its angle towards the Earth.
2. Sunlight arrives on Earth in every color, but it hits particles in our air that ’shine’ blue.
3. No one knows.
4. The earth weighs 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000kg – weighed by its gravitational attraction to nearby objects.
5. Planes lift up by ‘driving’ air downwards using specially shaped wings – the ‘push’ from the air flow is stronger than gravity.
6. Wet is a word that people use for liquids – primarily water – and the way they feel. Not all liquids behave the same way.
7. On paper, preferably.
8. Bees stop flying and birds flock together or migrate.
9. Sunlight going through water droplets in the air ’splits’ into all the colors.
10. People decided to have ‘time zones’ so that it would be light during the day everywhere on Earth – if we didn’t, some people would have midday in the middle of the night.

While I was on holidays in Ontario, I was in a taxi cab a couple times. One night in particular, I was coming back from the bus station and I wasn’t feeling particularly good as the onset of a cold that was about to hit me, was just setting in. It was a very windy and cold night. I rushed to one of the available cabs waiting and jumped in the back.

As we were driving, the cab driver, who I believe was of Indian descent, laughingly said “you were walking up very fast [to the cab]“. I then explained to him that I was cold and had a bad headache. In his heavy, yet decipherable accent he asked “what’s wrong? You not eat?”. He then goes on a soliloquy about how it’s important to eat and that even though we’re so busy “you must eat fruit and vegetables!”. I then told him that I ate but that it might have to do with not sleeping much for most of the week. “No sleep?!” he gasped incredulously. “Oh you must sleep! You must sleep! You have no energy! Then what? YOU’RE TIRED ALL THE TIME! Tired all the time! That’s no good!” and then he lets out a big, bellowing laugh.

This might not seem funny to you as relayed by me, but it was funny to me at the time and made me feel a bit better about my headache. Normally you encounter a cab driver and they don’t acknowledge you at all. They can be very miserable; And I empathize. Driving someone around and forcing yourself to make banal conversation with passenger. Or dealing with obnoxious drunk people. Or dealing with passengers who implore them to “please hurry” as some idiot is trying to get to the train station but calls for a cab five minutes before said train departs the station. The monotony of driving the same streets over, and over, and over…

Point is, that I’m sympathetic to the cab driver’s daily rigors and respect the fact they can be less than cordial at times. Sometimes I don’t want to interact either, but my driver was so gregarious it made for a good experience. It made me think about the experience of being driven by him (aside from the irony that a cab driver, a notoriously sedentary occupation, was advising me on health and wellness) and appreciate the many times, this not being the first, that I was in a cab with a friendly and funny driver. I can think of a few occasions where my cab driver had me legitimately laughing hard. Maybe it was the surprise of being blind-sided with humour when you thought you’d have a silent ride to your destination. It doesn’t always take humour. Sometimes, being pleasant and conversant is good enough. I guess this is was the impetus for Taxi Cab Confessions, a disarming, non-judgmental stranger who ends up getting you talking about things you normally wouldn’t to a stranger.

In the aforementioned instance, I didn’t bear my soul but I tipped generously.

In honour of Beyonce giving birth, she needed to be included in this week’s Mash Up Monday.

Back in 2009, I constructed the “10 Gym Commandments” with assistance from the Mix 103.7 listeners. Here’s what we came up with (I came up with #1 through too much painful observation, the Mix listeners came up with the other nine slots):

1. Thou dudes shalt not wear short shorts

2. Thou shall wipe down your machine when you’re done

3. Thou shalt not attempt pick-up lines at the gym (ladies hate it)

4. Thou shalt not grunt excessively

5. Thou shalt not use a cell phone to talk or text

6. Thou shalt not stare at yourself in the mirror

7. Thou shall change out of your outdoor shoes

8. Thou shalt not showerwith the curtain open

9. Thou shall wear deodorant

10. Thou shalt not apply makeup perfume or cologne prior to your workout. It’s the gym, not a club!

With it being early into the new year and people not completely off their new year’s resolutions yet and with the gym packed, I think this is the perfect time to look back at these 10 commandments and revise them if necessary. Obviously, some of these are covered under the jurisdiction of the respective facilities but are such faux pas’ that they bear repeating. So what do you think? What should stay and what should go?

I feel the need to draw up some options for Katy Perry in this difficult, difficult time. Because, as you well know, divorced celebrities such as Katy need unsolicited help from someone who is not qualified to play match-maker in real-life. However, I feel like I’m a good match-maker for celebrities. With that in mind, here are three people that Katy should hook up with to get over with the Russell Brand chapter.

1. Ashton Kutcher-Timing is everything. This makes too much sense. They’re both comfortable in the public eye. They’re both coming out of long-speculated and, upon further notice, public and sordid divorces. Katy obviously has an affinity for dopey comedic-types with long hair and beards and Ashton fits that role. The dichotomy in age may or may not have played a role in Ashton and Demi’s divorce but if Ashton were ever to go for someone younger/closer to his age,/very much different than his ex-wife, wouldn’t this be the time?

2. Colin Farrell-Can’t you see these two together? They both have enough of blurred line of confused edge/delta bravoness yet an unwillingness to care and just enough conventional fashion and sex appeal to be mainstream. He’s a supposed bad boy who might appeal to Katy’s vulnerability at the moment. Plus, never discount the accent factor. It works for both men and women. So, given her one-time affinity for Brand and his accent, maybe she goes for an Irish accent this time.

3. Chris Brown-Yes, her friend Rihanna is getting her through the tumultous time in her life when she’s seeking the counsel of a friend who’s been through so much in her own right. Rumours are flying that Rihanna is getting back with Chris Brown which is not being met favourable amongst the public. But what if….what if Katy ends up stealing Chris Brown from Rihanna on the rebound?! Could you imagine?! It would be the biggest heel turn ever! It would be like when Hulk Hogan joined the nWo and when LeBron James said he was “taking [his] talents to South Beach” all in one! Plus the feud with Rihanna and she would be the sympathetic figure and Chris Brown would unequivocally retain his role of being the bad guy, again (obviously for not as nefarious reasons…but still). But this is too good to happen. Not impossible, just highly unlikely.